The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
