i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
