so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
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Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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