Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize