You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
