I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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