We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
