Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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