Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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