Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A+ Viking dick
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
