i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
