Sober January is a disaster.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
