I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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