I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
