yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
