i think my tv is drunk
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
