I don't think brook has ever known best
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Houston, we have a squirter
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
