Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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