I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
