you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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