Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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