Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
