I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
