She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
