Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
