my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
