so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
