I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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