My first STD was from a foam party
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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