Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
