roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize