i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.