First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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