I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.