Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.