We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila