I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim