It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
