I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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