Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
