just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize