So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
