I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize