Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
