I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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