Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
