would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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