I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize