Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
