I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
should my penis look like a turkey
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
