mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
