If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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