You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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