Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
