I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
