If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
