She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
