i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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