he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
