do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
