Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
