Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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