Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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