Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
