so explain again why im purple
no
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
