theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
