Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
