Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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